Today’s One Liners

Hereditary diarrhoea – runs in the family.

Q: How do you make a tuna melt? A: With flowers, chocolates and a kiss on the cheek.

My friend has encased all my bottles of rum and vodka in wicker. It’s really hampered my spirits.

“My daughter wants to go out with a Timelord” “She should see a Doctor”

“My son is a compulsive exhibitionist” “You should get him looked at”

Yesterday at dusk, I saw a group of guys in armour sketching a pub. The knights really are drawing inn

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