Today’s One Liners

It’s dinner, not tea. It’s easy: breakfast, lunch, dinner, pudding, a sort of lunch, another sort of lunch, more pudding, pudding, bed.

I got B-A-A-A in my A-levels, and I’m now a shepherd.

I remember my A-levels. I had an ‘A’ in English, and was told, “that’s not how you spell English”.

Bought some new Dove shower gel. Now just have to get the little feathery bastards into my bathroom.

People reckon my Sting impersonation isn’t as good when they are near to me. I say don’t stand so close to me.

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