Today’s One Liners

FUN FACT: The word ‘gullible’ comes from the Gaelic for ‘unicorn’.

The main problem with battering rams is the wool getting stuck in the fryer.

Just been mugged by the canal. Obviously a hard water area.

No, Officer, I’m not ‘dumping radioactive waste into the sewer’, I’m ‘creating vigilante crime-fighting reptiles’

I bought an XFactor satnav. When you reach your destination it breaks down sobbing and says “it’s been a journey”.

Had to go to hospital earlier, as I thought I’d lost my power of invisibility. I’ve now been given the all clear.

Bicurious – interested in trying biros

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