Today’s One Liners

I think it’s time we turned the tables on Feng Shui experts.

My daughter cried for hours when I buried our cat in the garden. Imagine how upset she’d have been if it had died too.

The best way to get around Norway is with a Fjord Escort.

I’m less impressed by Wayne Rooney scoring a pen, than I would be to see him writing with one.

My mate’s addicted to helium balloons. He speaks very highly of them.

The Braille version of Snow White will make you feel happy. And Dopey. And all the other Dwarves.

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