Today’s One Liners

Mime Hospital – Where EVERYONE gets the silent treatment.

You must be bonkers!” – A novel way to greet prostitutes.

I’m a bit worried about the woman on the Clarins counter in John Lewis. She looks like she’s been bobbing for creosote.

I won’t be in work today as I’ve broken my leg. I’ve also contracted Legionnaires’ disease and lost an eye. Should be OK by tomorrow though

Dogs can look up. They just can’t look up things in the dictionary.

I have a very unique jogging style. For a start it involves a chair.

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