Today’s One Liners

Drew Barrymore. Now just need to colour in his swimming pool.

Houdini was excellent in the sack.

My girlfriend has left me for the guy who played Gollum. She’s run away to join the Serkis.

My flagpoles are only four feet high. I’ve got very low standards.

Put a note on your glove puppet saying “No hands left in this puppet overnight”.

I took my Grade 1 Synaesthete’s Piano exam today. I passed with flying colours!

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