Today’s One Liners

If you’re against animal cruelty but still need to fight off a shark, just offer to show it your holiday photos.

In their spare time, Sword Swallowers like to down tools, and go to chain restaurants.

If you think your job is tough, imagine how hard it is to be a Gift Horse Dentist.

It was my ‘Never Say Die’ attitude which ultimately cost me my job as a German Teacher.

Apparently, when she said she wanted a guy who would ‘WOW’ her, she didn’t mean ‘World Of Warcraft’. Anyone want a tear-stained Orc costume?

I’ve built a temporary fish stand at the market. It’s more of a plaice holder.

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