“You’re going to get 4 inches of snow tonight!” – Jon Snow seduces his wife
For the next referendum, I think we should vote on whether Nigel Farage should be blasted into the centre of the sun.
IDEA: Film where bacteria open a fairground in a guy’s chest, “Thoracic Park”.
Confused a blue pill with blue cheese. Girlfriend is less impressed that I’m now in bed with a massive stilt-on.
I’m more worried about who is putting worms in cans in the first place.
FUN FACT: Ducks have no newspapers called ‘The Daily Echo’.
If you feed drugs to a caterpillar, it turns into a crystal moth.