Today’s One Liners

So, after several hours of online research, I’m starting to think that the sequel to “Sophie’s Choice” isn’t “Victoria’s Secret”.

More Americans have been Batman than gotten Ebola

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.

Sliced bread must think it’s the best thing ever, which is why it’s so nice to burn it in a toaster and eat it for breakfast.

I would never be childish enough to make jokes about your mum’s favourite place, it’s beneath me…

I just found a message in a bottle. It said “keep drinking me and I’ll teach you to dance.” I love wine.

Nicola Sturgeon to replace Alex Salmond as SNP leader. If your name’s Barry Haddock you may want to consider getting into Scottish politics.

Save money on expensive Halloween costumes by simply becoming a notorious serial killer.

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