Today’s One Liners

People scoff at Russell Brand, but don’t forget the Russian revolution only happened because Trotsky heavily promoted HIS book one weekend.

Alimentary – boxing documentary

“I don’t take orders from anyone!” I snarled, which is why I lost my job as a waiter.

Running your fingers through someone’s hair is only romantic if you aren’t pretending that they are little legs

Fancy a surprise Chinese takeaway after the bingo? Simply hold your mobile up to the caller while you phone through your order.

It’s that time of year when they have to floss Stonehenge.

Very sad to hear the Dutch inventor of inflatable shoes has popped his clogs.

Very sad to hear the Abbot of the world’s only order of Trappist toads has just croaked.

Very sad to hear the inventor of the everlasting candle has finally snuffed it

Message: scruffy dressage

I’ve got my interview to join the rationalists on Monday. Wish me luck! Damn.

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