Today’s One Liners

Mrs. Farage: “Look at all these amazing Black Friday deals I got!” Nigel Farage: *looks to camera* “Send them all back.”

Sent all my American friends copies of “Big” and “Forrest Gump” for T Hanks giving.

The first rule of sarcasm club is why not just tell everyone about sarcasm club.

Two guys in a supermarket fighting over a TV, shouting “Let it go!”? Surely it should have been……in the Frozen aisle.

FOR SALE: Stringless tennis racket. £7. No returns.

There’s no ‘i’ in ‘spellng mstake’.

*Knock Knock* Who’s there? Hike. Hike who? Yes, that’s right, due to the syllable count.

How the Nobel Prize Was Born – A Surprising Story of Bad Journalism, Existential Guilt, and Dynamite by Maria Popova

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How a deplored “tradesman of death” brought to life the highest accolade of human achievement.

The only thing more interesting than the colorful history of Nobel Prize laureates — including such remarkable humans as Marie Curie, not only the first woman to win a Nobel Prize but also the first person and the only person until recently to win a Nobel in two different sciences, Aung San Suu Kyi, the only laureate who received the prize while under house arrest, and Ernest Hemingway, whose acceptance speech is prize-worthy in its own right — is the founding story of the Nobel Prize itself.

From Olov Amelin, curator of Stockholm’s Nobel Museum, we learn that the revered Nobel Prize — held today as an echelon of celebrating the human spirit at its highest potential — has a rather dark origin of destruction and confusion. In 1888, when a humble Swede by the name of Ludwig Nobel died, the French press confused him with his younger brother Alfred — the famed Swedish entrepreneur and inventor who amassed his fortune by making such deadly delights as dynamite and ballistic — and ran an eviscerating epitaph about this “Tradesman of Death.” Alfred Nobel, having the rare misfortune of witnessing his legacy while still alive, found himself heartbroken and determined to change his story before it was too late.

Its is tempting to liken his tale to that of Scrooge in A Christmas Carol,

Nobel had a vision of the future that might be, and he decided to change his destiny.

He thought for a while about what to do. Then, on November 27, 1895, he took action. He went to the Swedish Norwegian Club in the Marais in Paris, sat down at a writing desk — which is still there (the venue is now called simply the Swedish Club) — and wrote his last will and testament.

Over four pages, he set out what he wanted to give to his relatives — he had no children — and to his staff. He asked that the rest of his estate be invested into a fund, “the interest on which shall be annually distributed in the form of prizes to those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit to mankind.”

Continue reading How the Nobel Prize Was Born – A Surprising Story of Bad Journalism, Existential Guilt, and Dynamite by Maria Popova

Obituary: PD James

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PD James was known as the Queen of crime fiction, the creator of the suave, cerebral police officer, Adam Dalgliesh.

She strongly rejected suggestions that crime novels were not proper literature, producing a string of well-researched and beautifully constructed stories to prove her point.

Phyllis Dorothy James was born in Oxford on 3 August, 1920, the daughter of a civil servant.

Her parents did not have a happy marriage; her mother was committed to an asylum when James was just 14, leaving her to look after the house and her siblings.

From her early days at Cambridge High School for Girls, she nurtured an ambition to write but was forced by the family’s financial circumstances to leave school at 16 and find a job as a filing clerk.

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What South Yorkshire people don’t know about UKIP

UKIP  will probably win seats at the General Election in 2015 in the South Yorks area – particularly  Rotherham as in the European elections earlier this year.  What most locals don’t know is that one of the keys secrets to UKIP’s success is that it has the most secure funding of any political party and that comes from a local businessman (and former Scrap Merchant) who made his millions (650 of them at the last count) partly by building the Meadowhall shopping Centre.

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Self-made businessman promises to do “whatever it takes” to help Ukip top the polls in May

The UK Independence Party will receive a multi-million pound boost before next year’s European elections after winning support from one of Britain’s wealthiest businessmen.

Paul Sykes, a self-made tycoon and veteran of the campaign to keep the pound 15 years ago, has promised to do “whatever it takes” to help Ukip top the polls in May.

His move deals a big blow to the Conservatives as they fight to contain Nigel Farage’s party.

Paul Sykes tells the BBC: “The only party that’s offering a clear referendum in and out now is Ukip and that’s the reason I’m supporting it.”

Mr Sykes supported the Tories under Margaret Thatcher and Michael Howard, but has backed Ukip in the past, giving the party £1.5 million in 2004.

His latest investment in the party is expected to run into several millions. He told the Telegraph that he wanted to finance Ukip’s efforts to pull Britain out of the EU.

“It is time to tell the truth and let the people decide … I want this country to get back to becoming a self-governing nation,” he said.

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“That is what I am in it for. I am not going to sit here and do nothing. It’s my final thing this, it’s my Waterloo.”

Continue reading What South Yorkshire people don’t know about UKIP