Today’s One Liners

I’m not a racist but I do think immigrants are responsible for a lot of the rich, vibrant, dazzling variety of our nation’s cultural life.

And how did you meet your husband? “He shouted something sexually aggressive at me from a van and we just went from there really.”

It’s so stupid that The Internet’s symbol for ‘Search’ is a frying pan.

– Fred, Velma, Shaggy… Can you name one of the ‘Big 5’ African animals? Rhino. We know you do, Scooby, but it’s not your team’s turn

Nice offer on Amazon – if you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they’ll throw in a stand & deliver.

You don’t fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will.

“I’m going to a wedding in north-west London today.” “Maida Vale?” “Nah, I’ll wear a suit – wouldn’t want to show up the bride.”

I once dated a French girl in Vienna called ‘Rien’. She meant nothing to me.

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