I definitely pressed the button that said ‘White coffee with sugar’ and not ‘Hot dragon sick’, so I don’t really understand what’s happened.
This printer jam is disgusting
This hangover is so bad that it also has a hangover.
I’m not entirely sure what the name is for a baby octopus, but I have an inkling.
400 tubs of hair removal cream stolen from Boots. Police are looking for a smooth criminal.
Spies who still disguise themselves using newspapers with holes cut out are often behind The Times.
“You guys all rock!” – talking to a crowd of weebles.
A picture is apparently worth 1,000 words, yet Waterstones seem surprisingly unwilling to accept my photos in lieu of payment.
Disney announces film about rechargeable battery tycoon: “The Li-ion King”.
My pencil isn’t prone to making Freudian Slips, but my penis.
“Tex-Mex” combines food from Texas and Mexico, and it’s delicious. So why does nobody want to try my Cumbrian/Sicilian cuisine?
My mate wanted to see Gravity this evening. So I pushed him over.