Today’s One Liners

The inventor of autocorrect has died. I didn’t even know he was I’ll.

The letter R is just the letter P nervously dipping its toe in the water.

Whoever stole my shoes while I was on that bouncy castle needs to grow up.

The problem with calling our first daughter India, is that our second has been born with much larger ears, so we’ve had to call her Africa.

“Buy ‘Swallows and Amazons’, or you’ll never see your dog again.” – A. Ransome note.

So strange how Beethoven’s mum decided to name him after a dog in a film.

If I was a celebrity on the run, I’d just go and stand perfectly still in Madame Tussauds until it died down.

I hate when people mix up ‘less’ and ‘fewer’. It makes me think a lot fewer of them.

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