Today’s One Liners

Q. What do you call Dinosaurs jumping over buildings? A. Jurassic Parkour

I once got addicted to clickbait. What happened next will shock you.

The Wolverine actor has been sexually assaulted by a ‘sea cow’. The in Hugh manatee.

Bird Flu found in UK and Netherlands, triggering fears that it could spread to Turkey before Christmas.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Pretentiousness is a dish best served flambé, with quinoa, and a blackcurrant jus.

Give a man a fish, and he’ll ask for a refund on his fishing lesson

Thanks to those who helped me find the English translation of ‘mucho’. It means a lot.

Q. Why shouldn’t you insult Italian bakers? A. ‘Cos they’ll beat the Focaccia.

Some people in Yorkshire will read “Bird flu found in Yorkshire duck.” and just think the paper is being affectionate.

Today’s one liners all courtesy of James Martin @Pundamentalism

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