Today’s One Liners

My brain just logged me out due to inactivity and now I can’t remember my password.

Maybe your mojo doesn’t want to be found.

Eileen still hasn’t forgiven Dexys Midnight Runners for taking her to that bukkake party.

‘I saw your doppelganger this morning’ is a good thing to say to freak out someone who doesn’t know what a doppelganger is.

The Internet’s ok and all that, but just imagine how great it could be with more pornography and opinions?

Remember cauliflower? Christ. The 1970s were ridiculous at times.

Ten, Twenty, Thirty, fourty, fifty, sixty, sixtyten, “what?” four twenties, “France, stop it” four twenties and ten. “France you’re drunk”

Turns out the ‘G’ in ‘4G EE mobile network’ stands for ‘God’s sake’.

If you want to set up a company and run it then that’s your business.

Snooker is my favourite sport in which two immaculately-dressed men spend hours touching cloth in silence.

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