Today’s One Liners

Mrs. Farage: “Look at all these amazing Black Friday deals I got!” Nigel Farage: *looks to camera* “Send them all back.”

Sent all my American friends copies of “Big” and “Forrest Gump” for T Hanks giving.

The first rule of sarcasm club is why not just tell everyone about sarcasm club.

Two guys in a supermarket fighting over a TV, shouting “Let it go!”? Surely it should have been……in the Frozen aisle.

FOR SALE: Stringless tennis racket. £7. No returns.

There’s no ‘i’ in ‘spellng mstake’.

*Knock Knock* Who’s there? Hike. Hike who? Yes, that’s right, due to the syllable count.

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