Today’s One Liners

It’s not Christmas until I’ve heard the phrase ’emergency salmon’.

If you’d told me when I was 6 that, when I grew up, I’d have a job that involved holding a mouse for most of the day, I’d have been excited.

There’s something about answering the door in just a robe that always feels a bit 70s. Anyway, told them this meeting room’s booked all day.

Woke up laughing this morning. Think I must have slept funny.

It’s been revealed that George Bush knew all about CIA interrogation techniques, though admittedly he thought ‘Dick Cheney’ was one of them.

The first person to use the phrase ‘You’ve shot yourself in the foot there’ must have been very annoying.

That awkward moment when you accidentally press the button on your Jingle Bells socks during a job interview.

Well done to anyone who noticed that Sex Bomb wasn’t released til 1999, so couldn’t have been a hit in the 80s.

In the 80s if you heard ‘weather bomb’ you just assumed Michael Fish and John Kettley had released their version of a Tom Jones classic.

I remember when weather bombs used to just be called ‘Winter’.

Trying out a new thong today. But I’m not much of a thinger, thadly.

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