Today’s One liners

Seems The Sun only suffered short term mammary loss.

The Sun on Wednesday – Boobs: out.The Sun on Thursday – Boobs out.

Before Nigel Farage we could only guess what would happen if you put a weasel into a large hadron collider with a ploughman’s lunch.

Mad to think the entire world would be Christian by now if God had posted the 10 Commandments on BuzzFeed, with a gif for each one.

There’s no rest for the wicked. Which is why they tend not to play snooker.

Farming often has detractors. And decows, desheep, and defields.

I was in Boots earlier, and I have to say, I think they’ve massively overestimated the moisturiser and shower gel requirements of Doves.

“What are these pedometers for?” “Keep your distance” “Alright, mate, I was only asking”

You think orange flavoured liqueur is best? Cointreauversial.

Sir Veillance: King Arthur’s Head of Security.